Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters
... I cried today - heaps and heaps and heaps!
Turn of events over the past few days havent been great!
1. Study stress - studying medicine overseas is harder than I thought. I study sleep eat watch TV in the same small square room. At times it drives me nuts!
2. Food - I crave for a decent meal! Hostel food is just so terrible and it doesnt help especially when one is preparing for exams. Its absolutely unflattering, a complete turn off and so disheartening. Atleast after a good meal back home, I felt so chirpy and pepped up to study! I still remember the times when my mum made special food for me during my board exams.. Sigh! those were the days - care and comfort - in abundance!
3. Staying in hall - It sometimes can get really tough to talk to the people +/- a few years from you! I think we all are under stress so nobody can really bounce it off from another one! It is accumulative and at times additive! I really havent been able to talk to anyone without offending them! And that is just so depressing. After making a "personal attack" as they put it, I feel so guiltly that I spend the next hour trying to make up! It is a rather draining process that I really hope to avoid! Sigh!
4. It is just so hard to communicate the stress level to my parents. Somehow I am not too good with Phone + Parents combination. I can tell them all the funny stories but I cant really tell them whats deep down inside my heart with them being miles away lest they get worried! I guess I havent mastered the judgement - drawing the fine line between reliance(opening up to them) & responsibilty(knowing when to keep things hush)
These are the times when I suddenly remember my strength, my crutches, the light at the end of the dark tunnel! - Our strength comes from God, the Almighty one.
Persevere, Pray and Peace - I hope I can get by....
let your heart out.